Sunday, April 27, 2014

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

This past week spun through with a whirlwind of family, work, volunteer and social activities.  I survived while practicing patience, professionalism and kindness. 

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” 

Attributed to a Scottish preacher and writer Ian Maclaren.  According to this Wikipedia article, it is often misattributed to Plato or Philo of Alexandria.   Regardless, it is a good maxim or axiom for anyone to follow. 

It was also one of the themes in the Noah film I saw on Easter Monday.  In addition to the reminder to take care of the creatures and not misuse earth's resources, the words had particular impact while emerging from the kissable lips of a ruggedly handsome actor.  


I digress.  

Continuing with the theme of kindness... 

My writing women friends met on Friday for our monthly gathering at our usual restaurant.  In addition to my late arrival thanks to a public transit snafu, I learned that the establishment had not renewed its liquor license after recent renovations.  To add insult to tardiness, I would not be able to join some of them in a toast with wine.  Instead, we made do with ice tea or water and carried on.  We made do.

In-between rare visits from our waitress, we took turns with the usual introductions, stating our recent accomplishments, future plans and to ask for help with challenging situations.  My OCD nature had to be quelled in that we were not able to complete the circle around the table due to interruptions and side conversations.  

One concern and distraction was the waitress's mood and (a-hem) service.  This became a topic of conversation while empathizing, offering possible reasons for the attitude and blunt treatment.  One guest later mentioned that while she returned from the restrooms, she overheard a loud conversation between our server and one of the young managers

We knew something was out of balance, was not quite right.  Most were forgiving of the ensuing service with attitude and carried on with the meal.  We continued to enjoy each other's company and practice the art of conversation

While paying my bill directly to the waitress, I asked her name, stating that in all the months that we had come to this restaurant, that we had not learned her name.  That seemed to soothe her a bit.  The generous tip may have too.  

Prior to leaving, I took the opportunity to speak with her alone, asking how things were going.  After her generic response of "Okay, okay", I asked again how things were going with her - and with work.  Her eyes watered as she expressed her frustration of being an older woman, working for some young thing who didn't respect her and that she wanted to discuss the matter with her but was brushed aside. Wow, she was expressing feelings similar to those of many friends and acquaintances. 

I offered words of hope that things improve, a hug of reassurance, and that we looked forward to seeing her next month.  She said thank you.  

Most people would not be that patient with or understanding of someone who provides poor service.  Some would not have the imagination to consider the surrounding circumstances or be empathetic (benign interpretation).   Some would complain to the management. Some would walk out, announcing their intentions to never return!

What would you do?


  1. You made someone's day. Otherwise it would have been a lose-lose situation. Nice-going, Theresa.

  2. Normally, I'd probably be a bitxx. But now that I've read this, hopefully I can mend my ways. Nice post.

  3. After 20 yrs of Cafe-Restaurant ownership, I like to add to the nicely written notes, that I noticed the Staff Member's
    service. I thought it "came with the territory", odd but still
    passable. I am thankful to the nice Company of Writers.W.

  4. My evening was great. An honour to be with writers. The restaurant may do better with (curtain) improved acoustics.
    The Staff Member' service was "bad hair day" odd, but
    passable. Thank You All and Theresa. Wim

  5. Thanks for your comments, folks. We may have to call ahead next month to make sure the liquor license has been restored too. :o)

  6. Make every day the BEST day of your life.
    Zip a dee do dah
    Zip a dee ay
    My oh my what a WONDERFUL day.