Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

This past week spun through with a whirlwind of family, work, volunteer and social activities.  I survived while practicing patience, professionalism and kindness. 

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” 

Attributed to a Scottish preacher and writer Ian Maclaren.  According to this Wikipedia article, it is often misattributed to Plato or Philo of Alexandria.   Regardless, it is a good maxim or axiom for anyone to follow. 

It was also one of the themes in the Noah film I saw on Easter Monday.  In addition to the reminder to take care of the creatures and not misuse earth's resources, the words had particular impact while emerging from the kissable lips of a ruggedly handsome actor.  

 

I digress.  

Continuing with the theme of kindness... 

My writing women friends met on Friday for our monthly gathering at our usual restaurant.  In addition to my late arrival thanks to a public transit snafu, I learned that the establishment had not renewed its liquor license after recent renovations.  To add insult to tardiness, I would not be able to join some of them in a toast with wine.  Instead, we made do with ice tea or water and carried on.  We made do.

In-between rare visits from our waitress, we took turns with the usual introductions, stating our recent accomplishments, future plans and to ask for help with challenging situations.  My OCD nature had to be quelled in that we were not able to complete the circle around the table due to interruptions and side conversations.  

One concern and distraction was the waitress's mood and (a-hem) service.  This became a topic of conversation while empathizing, offering possible reasons for the attitude and blunt treatment.  One guest later mentioned that while she returned from the restrooms, she overheard a loud conversation between our server and one of the young managers. 

We knew something was out of balance, was not quite right.  Most were forgiving of the ensuing service with attitude and carried on with the meal.  We continued to enjoy each other's company and practice the art of conversation. 

While paying my bill directly to the waitress, I asked her name, stating that in all the months that we had come to this restaurant, that we had not learned her name.  That seemed to soothe her a bit.  The generous tip may have too.  

Prior to leaving, I took the opportunity to speak with her alone, asking how things were going.  After her generic response of "Okay, okay", I asked again how things were going with her - and with work.  Her eyes watered as she expressed her frustration of being an older woman, working for some young thing who didn't respect her and that she wanted to discuss the matter with her but was brushed aside. Wow, she was expressing feelings similar to those of many friends and acquaintances. 

I offered words of hope that things improve, a hug of reassurance, and that we looked forward to seeing her next month.  She said thank you.  

Most people would not be that patient with or understanding of someone who provides poor service.  Some would not have the imagination to consider the surrounding circumstances or be empathetic (benign interpretation).   Some would complain to the management. Some would walk out, announcing their intentions to never return!

What would you do?

Role models, reading and libraries

Is it too late to have found a role model?

Approaching my delayed maturity, I think I have found a role model.  I have only just recently discovered her existence and her 1981 book "Social Studies".  

I just love the acerbic wit of 60-something Fran Lebowitz as interviewed and allowed to opinionate throughout Public Speaking with Martin Scorsese. (Yes, I fused a noun and an adjective to create a verb.  That's creative license for ya.)

How does one get that kind of gig, with writing a couple of best-sellers in the 1970s and 80s then make a living talking about reading and how one hasn't written anything for decades?  Can one do that after publishing a wonderful, bittersweet novel (that is yet to be discovered by thousands of readers) and blog one's tongue-in-cheek social commentary about once a month?  

 

Fran Lebowitz certainly has opinions about many things including libraries, authors and their talent (or lack of).  I share her respect for libraries and books.  I am though, almost afraid to ask if she would like to read my yet to be discovered novel. 

Quote mash:

To lose yourself in a book,

as a child the library was the world,

a book is supposed to take you away,

it is supposed to be a door, not a mirror.

To close with the role model reference, I think Florence T. Lyon would make a good Canadian version of Fran Lebowitz. She would be polite, a little shyer, a little more tongue-in-cheek than acerbic, and on the socially acceptable side... she doesn't smoke. To offset the latter, she would be willing to consume wine on a daily basis.  That's to help with the shyness.

All she needs now is a good agent. 

T